Two Funerals

My maternal grandfather and my paternal grandmother past away about six months apart 3 years ago. The two funerals were so different and to me clearly painted a picture of our relationship with God.

My grandfather past away in early December. The night of his funeral, the funeral home was packed. My family had a number of friends there from church. Many people my grandfather had impacted in life were there. I had the privilege of officiating the ceremony. Right before I went up to begin speaking, one of my brothers in Christ came and spent time with me in prayer. A prayer for strength and clarity. The funeral itself was a celebration of his life. There were times in the ceremony where we were able to laugh and of course there were times to cry but the night was truly a blessing. Many people joined us the following morning for a small grave side service and burial. Afterwards, a large number of attendees came back to my home to eat and talk. As we walked in the door of our house, Christian friends of ours were already there preparing food. It was clear to see the blessings of being in relationship with God.

My grandmother passed away in June. The family had no spiritual walk. No relationship with other Christians. They are a very selfish family. As I walked into the funeral home, just a couple of hours before the funeral, there were very few people there. My father and aunts were not speaking to each other. Some trivial matter had caused a significant rift and they couldn't humble themselves long enough to provide comfort and love to each other. My dad walked up and thanked me for coming. Imagine, thanking a grandchild for attending his grandmother's funeral. He and I had not talked for a year or so before the funeral so all interaction was very awkward. As I stood with my wife and boys friends from my Christian fellowship began to show up. I had not "spread the word" about her death at all. That's kinda how it is with true Christians. They get in your business and know what's going on even when you don't think you want them around. I ended up with more people there to support me than my grandfather, dad and two aunts had, combined. Anyway, there was no funeral. We followed the hertz to the graveyard for a small, secular graveside service. One of my aunts began to weep bitterly. No one went to her comfort. I finally walked over and put my hands on her shoulders. It was the only consolation she would receive. At the end of the very awkward ceremony, they laid her casket in the grave. My dad and grandad stood over the grade for a few minutes and then my dad walked to his car and drove off. Eventually, everyone went their own way. No gathering, no comforting, just a box in the ground and a bunch of individuals going their own way.

The sadness of this visual, in contrast to the celebration of life from the first funeral, seems to provide the perfect contrast to life with and without Christ. With Christ death is not an end, it is not a time of complete sorrow, there is comfort in time of pain, there is family that supports you through a tough time. Without Christ, there is a box, with a lifeless body, placed in a box, laid in the ground with no other purpose than to rot away.

The gifts of God are many. They are in every part of our lives. Wouldn't you rather have the support and love seen in the first funeral or the pain and loneliness of the second?