Reverened Wrong May Be Wright

I've been thinking about Rev. Jeremiah Wright's claims that the U.S. Government is behind the AIDS virus. At first I thought that was absurd but then I found some startling information about our government's first foray into biological weapons. Dating all the way back 1800's our government has been building WMD's to wipe out groups of people. In a TWIR exclusive we have uncovered the government's development of JFMD or Jumping Frenchman of Maine Disorder.

This is an extremely rare disorder first described by G. M Beard in 1878 and is believed to have been first observed in French Canadian Lumberjacks. Sufferers have a sudden and an abnormal reaction to stimuli. For example, when given a sudden command in a loud enough voice the individual will carry out that command instantly and without a thought, even if you tell them to hit out a loved one, or throw an object. Also, on hearing unfamiliar or foreign phrases they will often repeat them over and over again uncontrollably. Other symptoms include extreme jerky movements whenever a loud noise is heard, hence the “jumping” aspect to this disorder.

Now I know some of you are sitting there thinking I made it up. I DARE YOU to google the information. TWIR never lies...